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Bad Marriage Advice #3: It’s Okay to Fight But You Need to Learn to Fight “Fair”
What comes up for you when you hear the word “fight”? Anything positive? This is what my issue is with the marriage advice to couples that it’s okay to fight as long as you do it fairly. To me this is as useful as putting lipstick on a pig. It’s trying to dress up...
Bad Marriage Advice #2: Don’t Go to Bed Angry
On the surface this seems like a good idea. I mean, who can fall asleep when they are spun out about something. And, if you’re upset with your partner, lying next to them and trying to relax just throws gasoline on the fire already burning inside. It’s how this advice...
Bad Marriage Advice #1: Beware Who is Giving the Advice
Okay, so technically this isn’t specifically bad marriage advice. But if your source is not reliable, then the advice should be taken with a grain (or pile) of salt. Here is some advice that showed up in my In-box last week: "The next time you find yourself in the...
Are You One of the Lucky 30%, or the Unhappy 70%
How do you have a successful marriage? As a marriage coach I’m often asked about what makes for a happy, successful marriage. It’s fairly easy to identify how many marriages end in divorce. It has consistently remained around 40% for first marriages, 60% for second...
Why Your Wife Fantasizes About Being Ravished—And What It Means for You
It's a common fantasy for women... Is your wife one of the 62% of women who want to be ravished? Studies have shown that this desire to be lovingly, yet forcefully taken by her man is one of the top five sexual fantasies women have. And it’s one that can get...
Humiliating Your Husband (or Anyone Else) Isn’t Loving
Imagine going to a friend’s house for dinner. She’s in the kitchen when you arrive putting the final touches on the salad. And there’s her husband squirting her with a bottle of water when she puts the tomatoes in before the lettuce. And again, when she pours dressing...
It Takes Two Yeses to Marry But Only One to Divorce
If you aren’t actively taking care of your marriage, it’s at risk of failing. You might think everything is okay, or at least not so bad that you need to take action, but your wife may think otherwise. It doesn’t mean that her perspective is 100% accurate but...
If She’s Told You Once, She’s Told You a Thousand Times
The dictionary defines nagging as ‘persistently annoying or finding fault with someone’. Another definition is ‘to annoy someone by constant demands or complaints’. Is this a dynamic in your marriage? If it is, you need to address it now. The longer it goes on, the...
No, You Never “Have” to Act Poorly
Have you ever found yourself feeling unfairly attacked and feel like you “have” to defend yourself? That you need to go toe to toe with someone and then try to justify your behavior when it doesn’t go the way you planned? Maybe it’s happened in your marriage, in your...
Do You Have What It Takes to Be a Leader in Your Marriage?
In the first two days of the new year, I received seven inquiries about marriage help. That included on New Year’s Day. And it was a weekend. So starts the annual rush for marriage professionals and divorce attorneys. Maybe you’re considering reaching out to one or...
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