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Marriage Is More Than the Wedding Day
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu My 40th anniversary celebration seems to continue. My husband and I are currently doing a mini version of our honeymoon in Sonoma Valley. We're on our way to our...
Lessons from a 40-Year Marriage
“If you live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day, so that I never have to live a day without you.” —Winnie the Pooh I wasn’t supposed to celebrate a 40-year wedding anniversary. At least, not according to the odds. I’m a child of divorce. I...
Are You Letting Your Marriage Run Out of Time?
"Your life, in the end, is the sum total of how you spent your time." Cherie Carter-Scott Most men don’t have a motivation problem.They have a hesitation problem. Not because they’re lazy.Not because they don’t care.And definitely not because they don’t want a better...
Your Marriage Isn’t Failing Because of Dirty Dishes
"Finding patterns is the essence of wisdom." Dennis Prager He’s standing in the kitchen again. His wife is frustrated. He’s defensive. Neither of them can even remember how the conversation started anymore. Something about schedules. Or tone. Or the fact that he...
When Marriage Feels Hard, We Assume That’s Normal
"All things are difficult before they are easy." Thomas Fuller I was speaking with a client recently about how easy his new relationship feels. Not boring.Not shallow.Not conflict-free. Easy. They communicate well. They’re emotionally aware. They recover quickly when...
When Your Wife Controls What Matters to You
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. Alice Walker There’s a situation I see more often than most men want to admit. It usually sounds something like this: He finally works up the courage to bring up something that...
The “Us” Factor: What Most Couples Forget
"I ask you to pass through life at my side—to be my second self, and best earthly companion." Charlotte Bronte My husband and I are headed out of town right now—so this will be shorter than usual. We’re going to MerleFest—a four-day music festival in the mountains of...
Why Marriages Quietly Lose Intimacy
"The opposite of Loneliness is not Togetherness. It's Intimacy." Richard Bach Like most good guys, you probably love your wife. And on paper, things look fine. You’re not constantly fighting. Maybe you’re not fighting at all. You’re not talking about divorce. From...
Stop Trying Not to Disappoint Her
"Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be." Henry Thoreau I was recently talking with a men’s dating coach about something that comes up all the time—how to avoid getting put in the “friend zone.” You’d expect the...
Conflict in Your Marriage Isn’t the Problem—Avoidance Is
"Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." – Mahatma Gandhi Let’s clear something up right away: Confrontation isn’t aggression.It’s clarity. It’s saying, “This matters enough to me that I’m not willing to quietly let it slide.” And if...
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