“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” Vince Lombardi
It’s October. Which means MLB Playoffs. (Go Dodgers!) And it got me thinking about what makes a championship team.
It’s a lot more than just showing up at the field to stretch, take batting practice, and throw the ball around the infield as a way to prepare for the chance to be world champs.
No, the preparation starts way before that if a team has any hope of ending the season on top. Lack of this preparation—off and in season physical training, compiling the right players to form the best team, a well-executed playbook, etc.
So what you may ask does any of this have to do with the quantity and quality of the intimacy in your marriage?
If you treat this aspect of your marriage like a pick-up game, you will probably be as disappointed as the teams whose season came to an early end. (Um, Yankees?)
So I have a question. When do you start preparing for an intimate encounter with your wife? Five minutes before you extend an invitation? An hour? Maybe that morning?
And how much time do you spend on foreplay?
The truth is foreplay isn’t just the time and effort you each spend warming the other up. That’s like taking batting practice before the game. It’s just the last part of the warmup, not the beginning.
I once heard someone say that foreplay begins as soon as the last intimate moment ends. And that’s a better approach than most couples use.
Because foreplay isn’t just getting ready for the physical encounter. It’s about creating connection on every level.
This is why problems in the bedroom are often the result of emotional distance outside of it.
If the two of you are emotionally intimate, the physical usually takes care of itself.
The answer to higher quality and higher quantity intimacy is to make sure your emotional foundation is strong. This means making your marriage a priority every day—not just when you want to get busy.
Creating a strong emotional connection begins with open and honest communication. Not just surface level, day to day informational exchange. But deeper, more connecting conversations where you really share who you are.
So, if you want to be part of a championship dynasty, you have to put in the right effort on a consistent basis.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Reach out if you want more intimacy and connection in your marriage.
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