“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein
I don’t think most men in troubled marriages would listen to a woman. That’s literally the root of their issues.
This was a comment left on one of my social media posts.
I get it. It can seem counterintuitive to reach out to a woman when you’re having problems with one.
The problem isn’t “listening to a woman.” It’s “listening” to your wife. Not only does she have a vested interest in what you do and how you do it, she also has some responsibility in what your marriage looks like.
In other words, she is not objective.
And you can’t be objective when interacting with her.
That’s what causes the issues.
The answer isn’t to pretend these issues don’t exist. Or to hope they will get better on their own.
Sometimes, if things are happening because of outside challenges, waiting it out might help.
But if the issues are due to what’s happening in the marriage, waiting usually will make things worse.
You know that things aren’t great. But, if you’re like a lot of husbands, you don’t think they’re “that bad.”
And I don’t want you to be one of those husbands who get slapped by reality when their wife asks for a divorce.
Responsibility, Not Blame for Your Marriage
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You’ve Changed But Your Wife Doesn’t Trust It
"Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited about what could go right." Tony Robbins There’s a statistic every married man should know: Women initiate roughly 67% to 90% of divorces, depending on the study and the population being measured. The...
Own Your Part Without Taking All the Blame
"I will keep constant watch over myself and‚ most usefully‚ will put each day up for review." Seneca When things go wrong in your marriage, it’s easy to start building a case. You remember what she said. You remember what you said. You can probably point to the moment...
So, who would know what’s going on with your wife better than someone who is one? Add to that, someone who is trained in what makes marriages work.
It’s like finding someone in a foreign country you’re visiting who speaks your language and wants you to have a great time.
A lot of men feel comfortable opening up to their female friends. But that can be threatening to your wife. And you don’t want to add that to the challenges you’re already facing.
But if there are ongoing challenges in your marriage—finances, intimacy, communication, whatever is making you uneasy and your wife unhappy—it’s better to be proactive instead of waiting for the divorce shoe to drop.
If you’re ready to take action, I’ve got your back. Reach out and we’ll talk about what that would look like.
