“…maybe sometimes it’s riskier not to take a risk. Sometimes all you’re guaranteeing is that things will stay the same.” Danny Wallace
Are you 100% satisfied with your marriage? If so, good for you.
But if you’re like many people, there are probably one or two things you might want to be different.
Everyone wants things to be better about some aspect of their lives. For many, that means their romantic relationship. But the piece most people miss is a real grasp of what’s truly going on.
I was reading an article about what the top 1% of people in any given field do differently from the rest of us. And one of the most important things they do is understand the reality of where they are.
Because the sooner you accept your current circumstances, the quicker you can take the necessary steps to fix it.
Relationships, especially marriage, add a unique challenge because it’s not just your feelings about it. Your partner’s feelings matter as well. And you may have different views of what’s going on.
Your marriage has to work for both of you. So, if one of you is dissatisfied, your marriage isn’t working.
And if you’re the one who thinks things are “okay”, you may be missing important information. And a big piece of what’s missing is your acceptance of “okay”.
No life is completely carefree. No marriage is either. But if your marriage becomes an empty shell, it’s headed for failure.
So you’re basically left with two choices—let that happen or fight to make it better.
Your Choices—Helping or Hurting Your Marriage
“Doing the right thing daily, compounds over time." John C. Maxwell Every waking moment you are making choices. Big ones. Little ones. Conscious ones. Reactive ones. Habitual ones. And they all impact your marriage. Even when they seem to have little to do with it....
Rating Marriage by Bedroom Activity
“There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex." - Billy Joel Intimacy (not just sex) is often a desired part of marriage. But judging your relationship by what is, or is not, happening in the bedroom is a...
March Madness and Your Marriage
“ I try to do the right thing at the right time. They may just be little things, but usually they make the difference between winning and losing." Kareem Abdul-Jabbar You might think that the NCAA Basketball Tournaments would have nothing to do with marriage, except...
In order to move forward, you have to be honest about where you are.
You may not agree with your partner’s position. They may not agree with yours. But if you want things to be better, pretending the other doesn’t feel the way they do will make progress impossible.
The first step is to validate what each of you are experiencing.
I know it can be tempting to minimize those feelings. To hold on to the idea that “it’s not that bad”. But pretending isn’t going to make things better. Neither will time.
It can be scary to face what’s really happening. It can be scary to try something different. To rock the boat when you can’t be certain of the outcome.
That fear can paralyze you. Keep you from seeing or acting on the truth. Keep you doing the same things even though you know they aren’t working.
To have the marriage you each want, the only thing that will work is taking productive action. This may mean learning new things and/or getting help.
But the alternative is to lose your wife and family.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. I invite you to take a Relationship Quiz to identify the reality of where your marriage is.
