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When Marriage Feels Hard, We Assume That’s Normal
"All things are difficult before they are easy." Thomas Fuller I was speaking with a client recently about how easy his new relationship feels. Not boring.Not shallow.Not conflict-free. Easy. They communicate well. They’re emotionally aware. They recover quickly when...
When Your Wife Controls What Matters to You
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. Alice Walker There’s a situation I see more often than most men want to admit. It usually sounds something like this: He finally works up the courage to bring up something that...
The “Us” Factor: What Most Couples Forget
"I ask you to pass through life at my side—to be my second self, and best earthly companion." Charlotte Bronte My husband and I are headed out of town right now—so this will be shorter than usual. We’re going to MerleFest—a four-day music festival in the mountains of...
Why Marriages Quietly Lose Intimacy
"The opposite of Loneliness is not Togetherness. It's Intimacy." Richard Bach Like most good guys, you probably love your wife. And on paper, things look fine. You’re not constantly fighting. Maybe you’re not fighting at all. You’re not talking about divorce. From...
Stop Trying Not to Disappoint Her
"Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be." Henry Thoreau I was recently talking with a men’s dating coach about something that comes up all the time—how to avoid getting put in the “friend zone.” You’d expect the...
Conflict in Your Marriage Isn’t the Problem—Avoidance Is
"Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." – Mahatma Gandhi Let’s clear something up right away: Confrontation isn’t aggression.It’s clarity. It’s saying, “This matters enough to me that I’m not willing to quietly let it slide.” And if...
You Didn’t Marry a Roommate—So Why Does It Feel Like You Did?
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." Chinese Proverb If you’re honest, something has shifted. You’re still living together. Still handling life. Still getting things done. But the connection? It’s thinner than it used to be....
Why She’s Not in the Mood (And How to Change That)
"Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex." Barbara Cartland If you’re like most of the men I work with, this question has crossed your mind more than once: “Why doesn’t she want sex as much as I do?” And if you’re...
Don’t Live Your Parents’ Marriage
"If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail." Benjamin Franklin Marriage is a unique relationship. Yes, technically everything is unique—but marriage really is different. It’s a legal contract.A financial partnership.Often a family-building enterprise.Ideally a...
Tired of Being Blamed for Your Marriage?
"Many think that assigning blame settles matters." ~ Mason Cooley A while back I wrote a post, Is Your Wife Always Mad at You?, and it generated a lot of comments. Some of you said: “So women get to act like children and men have to stay calm?”“Why is it always about...
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