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“Winning” the Argument Can Cost You Your Marriage
“Do you want to be right or happy? — Michael Easter Most successful men are rewarded for finding problems. At work, your ability to spot weaknesses is an asset. You identify risks before they become disasters. You challenge assumptions. You ask hard questions. You...
Why Smart Men Settle for Less in Their Marriage
“The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.” ― Thomas Merton Most of the men I work with are successful. They solve complex problems, manage teams, and make good incomes.If something isn't working in their professional life, they don't ignore it. They...
The Marriage Problems That Start as Whispers
“Reality does not go away when it is ignored.” Thomas Sowell Most marriages don't fall apart because of one big mistake. It isn't usually an affair or a particularly bad fight. It isn't the moment someone says, "I can't do this anymore" or “I love you but I’m not in...
Marriage Is More Than the Wedding Day
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu My 40th anniversary celebration seems to continue. My husband and I are currently doing a mini version of our honeymoon in Sonoma Valley. We're on our way to our...
Lessons from a 40-Year Marriage
“If you live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day, so that I never have to live a day without you.” —Winnie the Pooh I wasn’t supposed to celebrate a 40-year wedding anniversary. At least, not according to the odds. I’m a child of divorce. I...
Are You Letting Your Marriage Run Out of Time?
"Your life, in the end, is the sum total of how you spent your time." Cherie Carter-Scott Most men don’t have a motivation problem.They have a hesitation problem. Not because they’re lazy.Not because they don’t care.And definitely not because they don’t want a better...
Your Marriage Isn’t Failing Because of Dirty Dishes
"Finding patterns is the essence of wisdom." Dennis Prager He’s standing in the kitchen again. His wife is frustrated. He’s defensive. Neither of them can even remember how the conversation started anymore. Something about schedules. Or tone. Or the fact that he...
When Marriage Feels Hard, We Assume That’s Normal
"All things are difficult before they are easy." Thomas Fuller I was speaking with a client recently about how easy his new relationship feels. Not boring.Not shallow.Not conflict-free. Easy. They communicate well. They’re emotionally aware. They recover quickly when...
When Your Wife Controls What Matters to You
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. Alice Walker There’s a situation I see more often than most men want to admit. It usually sounds something like this: He finally works up the courage to bring up something that...
The “Us” Factor: What Most Couples Forget
"I ask you to pass through life at my side—to be my second self, and best earthly companion." Charlotte Bronte My husband and I are headed out of town right now—so this will be shorter than usual. We’re going to MerleFest—a four-day music festival in the mountains of...
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