“People like to say that the conflict is between good and evil. The real conflict is between truth and lies.” Miguel Angel Ruiz
Is honesty in a relationship a virtue in and of itself or must it be “rewarded”?
This is the question I asked myself after one of my readers sent me this YouTube short in response to my blog Being an Honorable Man in Your Marriage.
Dr. Orion Taraban said, “if the truth got men laid, the world would look so much better than it currently does. That if women didn’t have sex with men who lied to them, man, we’d have a much more honest population.”
He does admit that women aren’t always good at differentiating between lies and the truth. As if they are the ones responsible for the lying.
This infuriates me in so many ways.
I find it insulting to both men and women.
First, that the only way for men to be honest is to promise them sex. Really?
Second, making women responsible for a man’s decision to be honest or not. Talk about passing the buck!!!
Let me be clear. I am 100% responsible for my decisions and actions.
You are 100% responsible for yours.
You choosing to be either honest or dishonest is about you.
No. One. Else.
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As research shows, trust is the foundation for a good relationship. And honesty is the foundation for trust.
Your partner does have some decisions to make if they find you lying to them. They can stay and “reward” your dishonesty. But you need to be aware that may be time limited. Continued lies eat away at your relationship the way termites eat away at your house.
Eventually your house, and your relationship, will fall apart.
And the trust that is so important to your marriage is at the heart of your sex life. It is critical for her to feel emotionally safe with you in order to be truly intimate.
Yes, she may still have sex with you. Either for her own pleasure or to keep the relationship together until she finds a way out.
But it will be a transactional act, not an intimate or connecting one.
Something a truly honorable man will reject.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Check out the video and let me know your take on it.
