“Divorce is a 50-50 thing, and it can be a number of petty things that finally drive you out of your mind.” Lee Radziwell
To paraphrase Dr. Phil, don’t you just hate it when you’re living your life, providing for your family, handling day-to-day activities, when your wife “suddenly” asks for a divorce?
That. Never. Happens.
No one wakes up one morning and suddenly decides to end their marriage.
It’s as much of a myth as the one that says frogs will stay in a gradually heating pot of water.
Because there are always warning signs.
Signs like your wife:
- Being “tired”—sometimes for months or years
- Nagging you about something you promised to do again and again
- Avoiding physical contact with you
- Spending her time on social media, binge watching TV, reading romance novels
- Having time for everyone but you
- No longer sharing about her day or her feelings
Unfortunately, these things often get ignored or minimized.
Because her feelings don’t match yours.
Because, in your view, “things aren’t that bad”.
My question is how bad do they have to get before you take action?
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"Marriage is not just a spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash." Joyce Brothers The novel I’m currently reading has the main character realizing he only shows up in his marriage when it’s convenient. This week’s blog from my colleague...
Moving Through Inertia in Your Marriage
"Silence is the language of inertia. "Margaret Hefferman Inertia is defined as “a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged”. I’ve been thinking about it this week as I’ve been changing my business phone carrier. I’ve been with the same company for at least...
Waiting until divorce is on the table is too late.
Yes, she has ownership in what your marriage looks like. And, yes, she may not handle things well either.
But, if you’re honest, you know that doesn’t let you off the hook for your part in the marriage.
Because over 70% of couples report not understanding the realities or stages of marriage.
And women initiate 67-90% of all divorces.
It’s not even a good sign if she stops talking about what she thinks is wrong with the marriage.
Unless you know—really know—that all relationship issues have been successfully addressed, she has likely gone underground to plan her exit.
Things will seem to have stabilized so you convince yourself all is okay. Only to be caught off guard when she implements her plan.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can turn things around if you want to avoid a nasty “divorce surprise”.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Contact me and let me know if there are any concerning signs in your marriage.
