“Your future depends on what you do today.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Should you stay married for the sake of your children? In a word, NO.
But should your children be the reason for you to take action to strengthen your marriage? ABSOLUTELY.
Maybe you’ve bought into the lie that children will be fine if you divorce. But did you know that divorce appears as one of the Adverse Childhood Events that impact a person’s long-term mental and emotional health.
Research shows that the only children who do better after their parents get divorced are those that are living in high-conflict homes.
A good friend of mine once told me she and her sister wished her parents would divorce because of their constant fighting. She realized later that what she really wanted was the fighting to stop—a common desire. Because kids don’t really know how much a divorce would change their lives.
I was listening to a report today about how children’s health in the United States has been deteriorating over the last several decades. It found that 1 in 3 children now have a chronic health condition. Some are physical but many are emotional and psychological.
And with the number of families that have been broken by divorce over that time, it may not be a coincidence.
Many prospective clients have said that they would do anything for their children.
When I tell them about the Hero Husband Project, they say, “This sounds exactly like what I need.”
Tired of Being Blamed for Your Marriage?
"Many think that assigning blame settles matters." ~ Mason Cooley A while back I wrote a post, Is Your Wife Always Mad at You?, and it generated a lot of comments. Some of you said: “So women get to act like children and men have to stay calm?”“Why is it always about...
Marriage is NOT a Test (or Shouldn’t Be)
"We are what we repeatedly do... excellence, therefore, isn't just an act, but a habit." Aristotle A reader recently pushed back on the idea of emotional steadiness in marriage: Marriage is a test. Thousands of questions. Get one wrong and you flunk. She unloads...
What It Really Takes to Make Your Marriage Thrive
"Maturity: to do what’s important and to ignore what’s not." Maxime Lagacé You can be talented.You can be smart.You can be highly competent at work. None of that guarantees you’ll thrive in your marriage. The edge doesn’t belong to the most intelligent man in the...
And then the back pedaling begins…
- I really want to do this, but now’s not the right time
- I’m too busy at work to take this on, maybe in a few months
- Things aren’t really that bad
- It’s too expensive
What they are really saying is…
- It’s going to be too uncomfortable
- I’m scared it won’t work
- The long-term well-being of my children isn’t really that important
But pretending that there is a right time to take action or that there won’t be an investment of time or money is not the path to keeping your family together.
Heroes take action even if they’re scared or aren’t sure of the outcome. They know that not doing anything is not an option.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Reach out and share what you tell yourself when you look at your children.
