“Today’s excuses are tomorrow’s regrets dressed in disguise.” Steven Furtick
Excuses are seductive.
They soften disappointment.
They protect your pride.
They give you something to point at when things aren’t going well.
And they quietly keep everything exactly the same.
An excuse isn’t usually a blatant lie. It’s a practiced explanation that postpones ownership.
And most of the time? It makes sense.
You are busy.
Life is demanding.
Your marriage isn’t all bad.
She is hard to understand sometimes.
All of that can be true.
But logic doesn’t create momentum in a marriage.
Ownership does.
Marriages rarely fall apart because of one catastrophic decision. They erode through inaction.
- “I’ll focus on us when this project wraps up.”
- “Now isn’t the right time to push into this.”
- “She’s just overreacting.”
- “I need to think about it more.”
- “I shouldn’t always have to be the one to go first.”
Individually, these thoughts are real and can seem harmless.
Collectively, they keep you stuck.
Tired of Being Blamed for Your Marriage?
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Marriage is NOT a Test (or Shouldn’t Be)
"We are what we repeatedly do... excellence, therefore, isn't just an act, but a habit." Aristotle A reader recently pushed back on the idea of emotional steadiness in marriage: Marriage is a test. Thousands of questions. Get one wrong and you flunk. She unloads...
What It Really Takes to Make Your Marriage Thrive
"Maturity: to do what’s important and to ignore what’s not." Maxime Lagacé You can be talented.You can be smart.You can be highly competent at work. None of that guarantees you’ll thrive in your marriage. The edge doesn’t belong to the most intelligent man in the...
The moment you decide your connection is primarily determined by her mood, her behavior, her willingness—you’ve handed over your influence.
And once you give away influence, motivation follows.
Strong men don’t pretend obstacles don’t exist.
They simply refuse to hide behind them.
Responsibility isn’t about accepting blame for everything.
It’s about recognizing where your leverage lives.
When you stop explaining why closeness didn’t happen and start deciding what you’ll do differently next time, something shifts.
Movement replaces frustration.
Clarity replaces resentment.
You stop waiting to feel inspired.
You stop waiting for ideal conditions.
You stop waiting for her to change first.
You act because it aligns with who you want to be—not because it’s easy.
That’s leadership in a marriage.
You’ve got this. But, if you don’t, I’ve got you. If you’re ready to create the marriage you desire and deserve, hit reply and put READY in the subject line.
