“We need a place in which we may flourish and be ourselves.” Timothy Radcliffe
I want to be in a marriage where my feelings are minimized, my desires are ignored, and I walk on eggshells all the time.
Said. No. One. Ever.
What most people want, maybe even you, is a good marriage.
But have you defined what would actually make a marriage good?
Is it the number of years it lasts, regardless of its quality?
Is not getting divorced the only criteria that makes it “good”?
If you can’t answer with a resounding YES when someone asks if your marriage is good, it probably isn’t.
The truth is most marriages aren’t good, let alone great. Even if they’ve lasted a long time.
This isn’t to assign blame. Just a statement of fact.
That’s because few people even know what a good marriage should look and feel like.
It’s not their fault. Or yours either.
You can’t know what you haven’t seen or been taught.
And if you follow a lot of marriage “advice”, you won’t get there either.
Celebrating Not Just a Long but a Well-Lived Life
"You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old." George Burns I’m writing this as I’m sitting at the airport waiting to go west for my aunt’s 100th birthday. She is the second relative to hit that magic number. My great-grandmother made it to 104. These...
Is Your Wife Your Friend or Your Rival?
"Insecurity is at the heart of every rivalry." Beth Moore Several years ago, a client of mine said, “If I do what my wife wants, she wins.” I had two thoughts. First, you don’t want to make accommodations for your wife? Second, you’ve just set your marriage up as a...
The One Thing Your Wife IS Absolutely Right About
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." David Augsberger I recently received a comment on my post “Why Your Wife is Always Angry with You”. It was by a man who said that I believe that women are always...
Marriage is said to require work, compromise, and sacrifice. Three words I won’t ever use in the same sentence as marriage.
If you do any of those things, at best you will have a marriage you tolerate. At worst, you will end up resentful and frustrated. What you won’t have is a marriage that flourishes.
You may say your marriage is “fine” or “okay” but is it really? Or are you afraid of really taking a close look because you might realize “okay” or “tolerable” isn’t good enough?
I’m not saying that divorce is the answer. I am saying that if nothing changes, divorce will probably be the result.
Most couples “tolerate” unwanted things in their marriages for years because they don’t know how to get them to change. You keep accepting them until one of you can’t take it anymore.
If you want your marriage not just to survive, but to actually thrive, you have to stop accepting things that aren’t okay.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Contact me and let me know what you’re tired of tolerating in your marriage.
