“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” Andy Warhol
The relationship result that’s eluding you can be found in the work you’re not willing to do.
Please, read that again.
I read this on a blog a few weeks ago and it really hit home for me.
The challenge with relationships is that you have a built-in scapegoat. It’s the other person’s fault. Your wife. Your child. Your boss. Your neighbor.
In the immortal words of Dr. Phil—what’s the common denominator?
I get it. You have real concerns about your marriage.
Maybe it’s the lack of sex. Or an inability to agree on a budget. Or disagreements about how to raise the children, spend your time, or run the house.
All of these are legitimate concerns that need to be addressed.
So, how are you doing with that?
Are you making progress or just spinning your wheels?
If what you’ve been doing isn’t working, are you willing to try something else?
I believe down to my toes that neither partner can justifiably opt out of a major aspect of the marriage.
But, if you keep focusing on what your wife is doing, you will never get anywhere. It gives her all the power to define your marriage.
Responsibility, Not Blame for Your Marriage
"The single most empowering thing you can do is take responsibility for yourself, 100% of the time." Mel Robbins If you’ve ever had an argument with your wife and found yourself mentally building a case for why you were right, you’re not alone. You remember what she...
You’ve Changed But Your Wife Doesn’t Trust It
"Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited about what could go right." Tony Robbins There’s a statistic every married man should know: Women initiate roughly 67% to 90% of divorces, depending on the study and the population being measured. The...
Own Your Part Without Taking All the Blame
"I will keep constant watch over myself and‚ most usefully‚ will put each day up for review." Seneca When things go wrong in your marriage, it’s easy to start building a case. You remember what she said. You remember what you said. You can probably point to the moment...
And, whether you believe it or not, you are contributing to what your marriage looks like. Maybe not 50/50. Maybe not even 25/75. Maybe you’re only 1% responsible. But your part is the only place you have any control.
The longer you wait to step up, the worse it will get. Until there is nothing left to save.
January is known as divorce month. It’s the time of year many spouses are reevaluating their marriages.
Maybe that’s you. Maybe it’s your wife.
But there is an alternative to things continuing to be unsatisfactory or contacting an attorney. Make a real change.
Knowing how to have the difficult conversations is the first step.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. Reach out and let me know what changes you would like to see happen in your marriage.
